The holidays are here, which means questions about etiquette around everything from what to bring to how to accommodate a guest’s dietary restrictions.
Expert Elaine Swann, the author of “Elaine Swann’s Book of Modern Etiquette,” and Myka Meier, author of “Modern Etiquette Made Easy,” shared some guidelines on TODAY on Nov. 24 to help smooth out any rough edges during family gatherings over the holidays.
Here’s their take on how to approach certain situations over the next month or so.
The host of Thanksgiving said not to bring anything. Should you still bring something?
“You should not arrive empty-handed,” Swann said on Jenna & Friends.
“So what I mean by that is make sure that you bring something to say thank you for allowing me into your home, for inviting me in, so it can be some sort of host gift or what have you.”
Swann suggested a gift that doesn’t require any work by the host to deal with — so no flowers. Her suggestions include potted herbs or something indulgent like undereye patches or a footwrap.
“If you say you’re going to stay three days, then make it three days,” Swann said. “Do not overstay.”
She also shared tips on how to act during your stay.
- Don’t make it hard on the host to satisfy your dietary restrictions. Bring your own food if necessary.
- Don’t assume that the host will always feed you or drive you wherever you want. “Kind of be on autopilot,” Swann said.
- Read the room. “Get into the flow of the household as well. Don’t go traipsing around in your little booty shorts and things like that,” Swann said.
Is it acceptable to talk politics at the holiday dinner table?
The conventional wisdom says to avoid that topic, especially in our current highly polarized political landscape.
Swann said there is another way to approach it.
“People say not to talk politics, but I think it’s so important for us to come together, have a discussion, so we can be understood,” she said. “You do this either by carving out time or space. When you get here, we’re not going to talk about politics until after dessert, or you can talk when you get here, and that’s it, and that’s No. 1.”
“And then you get your favorite family member who everyone respects and have them kind of moderate the situation as well. And if they get out of hand, then you stop it,” she continued.
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